Comment Wall
Hey guys the link to my portfolio project is here. Hope you guys enjoy it!
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| Imagery of books full of stories. (Source) |
Introduction to a Future Dentist
Hello everyone, my name is Jesika Patel and I’m a senior at the University of Oklahoma. My major is Microbiology with a minor in Chemistry, and I’m also Pre-Dentistry. My goal is to get into dental school and become a dentist. I actually just took the DAT (Dental Admission Test) a couple of days before school started, which was stressful. Sadly, I spent most of my summer studying for the test, but it wasn’t too bad. I also was volunteering at a dental clinic in the city, which was fun and a good way to get some experience. I was going to apply this following cycle, but decided to take a gap year instead to gain some more experience and to make my application better. A little background about me is that I was born in Tampa, Florida and my family moved quite a lot before coming to Oklahoma, which is where we lived the longest. Although, my parents moved to Georgia my freshman year of college because they wanted to live closer to my other family me
Hey there Jesika!
ReplyDeleteFirst off I would like to say how much I appreciate how well organized your portfolio is! The WOW for your portfolio is the banner for the story “The Freezing of Lanka” I found it very fitting for the story, and I think it draws the readers in very well. I wonder why Hanuman was not turned to ice like everything else that was injected with the solution. Maybe you could go a little more into the background of Hanuman and expand on why he did not turn to ice. What if for the cover of your Portfolio, you added a large picture to take up some room and add some color. And then instead of just saying Story 1 and Story 2, you can say the title of the Story, so the reader knows which story they are about to read. I really enjoyed the story, and I look forward to seeing the progression of your portfolio!
Hi Jesika! I really enjoyed your second story. It was very inventive and interesting. I really liked how instead of fire, Hanuman instead froze everything in his path. I was also really interested in how you adapted the character of Sita. I felt like she was really acting a bit shifty at the end, as well as a little bit of a spoiled brat in only wanting Rama to save her after Hanuman had risked his life for his friend's wife. I was also interested in the deeper connotation of the cloth between the hands, although you probably didn't mean to imply a message against adultery.
ReplyDeleteYour first story was very detailed, but after reading the second story, I was wondering if there was a way for you to interject a bit more of your own fun storytelling into your first story. I really liked your second one, so it would be awesome to see more of those cool twists!
Hey Jesika,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed story 2 about the freezing of lanka! The switch up from fire to ice was very unique and made things more interesting. I like the ways you portrayed your characters, specifically Sita, who seemed a bit petty. If I were Hanuman, I would have been so pissed! Your story-telling abilities are very strong and I enjoyed every bits of your story. Good luck for the rest of the semester! I'll most likely be back to read your third and final story!
Hey Jesika! Went through and looked at your portfolio project website. Your project looks great! I really like the banner image that you used for your second story and the image you have posted on your comment wall! I was recently advised to add short descriptions of my stories onto the home page of my portfolio project, and now I think my website directs people toward the stories better. That would be really my only suggestion for you – to add short descriptions of your two stories onto that home page so that when you get to the home page, you can kinda see what type of stories you have and choose which one you want to read. Other than that, I enjoyed reading through your stories! I enjoyed Story I, because I very much liked how you changed the ending so that Sita did not get captured by Ravana. I also enjoyed Story II, and in general, that was a really creative idea!
ReplyDeleteHey Jesika! I just want to start off by saying that I totally loved your story! The creativity and imagination that was integrated with your writing was superb! I can see you put a lot of hard work and time into your story! Keep it up! I liked your use of dialogue. It really brought the characters to life. I was able to relate even more with the characters and get into their minds. I also would like to comment on your web site page! I have to say it looks really great! Comparing mine to yours, I want to put more work into mine! I was able to easily navigate through the web page, which was very nice. However, I look forward to reading more of your stories! Good luck with the rest of your semester! It is coming close to an end! Also, have a great Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteHey Jesika!
ReplyDeleteI was unaware of the just how Sita was kidnapped and I'm glad that you shared with us how it happened. Strangely enough, I love the story of Sita being held in Rama's kingdom because the ending is so interesting and dramatic. Did you know that supposedly Sita standing, praying, and waiting for her husband to come rescue her is the basis of the Tree Pose in yoga? Such a happy(ish) ending for Sita.
The Burning of Lanka is such an awesome classic and you put a nice spin on it! I thought it was super creative how you altered it from burning to freezing.
I also wanted to add that the image you used certainly added a nice touch to the storyline. In fact, I really liked that picture and it put an image in my head of Lanka being completely frozen solid.
Overall, nice work and keep up the good job! We're almost there!
Hello Jesika, I read through your portfolio and really enjoyed reading your story “The One That Got Away” based off of the two stories “The Golden Deer” and “Ravana and Sita.” I thought your story was such a fun story to read. Not knowing much knowledge about these kind of stories made it really exciting especially when the old man was actually someone named Ravana, who had ten different heads, appeared in the story. I wonder what kind of back story Ravana has and what would of happen if he would have got away with Sita. I thought that the story was also very well written and flowed really well throughout. For your portfolio, I think that it is very well put together. All slides are easy to navigate and flow well. Also I really like the cover pictures for each story. Only thing I would suggest is to add a link to the comment wall under each story. Overall I thought everything was great!
ReplyDeleteHey Jesika!
ReplyDeleteFirst getting to your project I really liked the look of it with your different images and the colors. I also liked your format of your story list. It was not crammed of just bibliography information but actually what the story was about.
I think the header images on your stories are great. They really go along with the stories and are great quality. They helped me and I am sure other readers to visualize the story while reading it.
I had never read any of the stories that yours were based off of so it was fun to read your author's notes and to read your stories and see how they changed.
I think your stories were a lot of fun to read and I was never confused even though I had never read the stories before. So good job on that.
Overall, good job on your stories.
Hey Jesika! I just got done looking at your portfolio and I really enjoyed it! I read your first story and I immediately loved it. I think it was a little sad but there are so many elements at play. Rama chases the deer for Sita because he loves her and that is what she wanted at the time. It is sad that he does go find it and then goes missing. I think that Sita's love also showed when she sent to go find him because she was so worried about him. I would do the same in a similar situation. Your second story is also pretty interesting because of the herb that is able to freeze anything. I think it would be cool but at the same time dangerous if that was a real thing for sure. Both of your stories were really good and I can't wait for the next one to come!
ReplyDeleteHi Jesika! I like the small bits of information you throw into the story that helps settle the readers in. Like the bit about who rashakas are in your first story; it was nice that you included the fact that they are demons for those who don't know.
ReplyDeleteI would love some imagery in your first story. Your banner image certainly helps get the imagination going, but I would love to have you putting new images into our heads. What did the golden deer look like? Was it shiney? Did Ravana look old and wrinkly? Were his clothes dirty? I think some more description would just elevate an already great storybook. You have a great creative mind and it would be awesome to see it end up on the page!
Hi Jesika! I just went through your Portfolio project website and I just wanted to say I really like it! I like the banner image you have used for your home page. When you think of a wanderland, you think of woodsy, nature places so I think you picked a really good one that goes well with your project title. I really enjoyed reading the story "The One That Got Away." I think you did a really great job at retelling the story from the PDE versions. I read those as well so I feel like you made some great changes in your story. I especially like that you set the story in a castle. I personally never liked that they were royalty, but yet still lived in the forest because of their exile. I also like that Ravana was not successful in taking Sita away, and Rama and Lakshmana got to save Sita on time. Overall, both of your stories are really good and I can't wait to read your next one!
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